Hi everyone, I am back again for September 2011. My post is based on something that recently caught my attention some days ago and I am prompted to write about it. Anyway, none of the beating around the bush so here goes.

Imagine if you happen to know a guy in your own social circle who is well-liked because he is nice, pleasant and easy to get along with. Let’s just say he is a best friend you grew up with since childhood, knew him in university/college or a work colleague you hang out frequently at work and outside working hours. And one fine day, he just announced to you and some mutual friends that he is dating a girl (or in some situations, got engaged with her). Okay, you and your friends are happy for him. However, what happens if you and the other buddies find out in horror that the girl your friend is dating or about to marry is bad news.

In case you are wondering what I mean the girl is bad news, how about those in bullet points below will explain a bit.

The girl is bad news because (either one or more of those):

  • She is only interested in marrying your friend for his money and status rather than for love
  • She happens to have a reputation for being a frenemy to people in her, your friend’s or/and your social circle, past and/or present
  • She has a reputation for being a manipulative bully, spoilt brat and/or control freak who wants everything her way, her favourite phrase is “I want it NOW! NOW!” and she is always at her ugliest when she throws a tantrum like a four-year-old or resort to emotional blackmail.
  • She has a Dr-Jekyll-and-My-Hyde personality that you friend will find out too late when he stays with her longer or plans to spend his entire life with her
  • She is a two-timing cheat dating or sleeping with other guys behind his back
  • She is every future mother-in-law’s nightmare where momma rather have her son marry a nice girl than someone as terrible, calculative, selfish and disrespectful as her
  • She wants to be in control and can’t wait to wear the pants in the house so that she control him day-in and day-out once they tie the knot (again, in-laws’ worst nightmare)

That explains what I mean on the bad news girlfriend/fiance as above. I have heard of ‘horror’ stories of men being married to bad news girls and I can name one example. I once heard about a woman, let’s call her F, who is married to a civil engineer for more than 30 years. To many people, more than 30 years of marriage between F and her husband is considered amazing but things are not what they seem to be on the outside or on a marriage certificate. According to many people,  F worked a hotel receptionist before she met, dated and married her husband who was a hotel guest at the hotel she worked in more than 30 years ago. To the point, what I can recall from what I heard from people, F wears the pants in the house where she wants her husband all to herself. That is not all, he cooks breakfast for her in bed everyday her way and F gets whatever she wants without the husband questioning her. Talk about being a slave to a wife like her. And here is the worse part of all: she mistreats his mother and gets all cranky when the husband does his part as a good son who makes sure that his momma gets her monthly ‘allowance’ for her medical bills and expenses or phone her to make sure she is safe and healthy. Some daughter-in-law F is! And do you know what is the sadder part of all? Her middle daughter is following F’s controlling behaviour and she is willing to marry a man for his money and status rather than for love. History repeats itself I guess. I cannot help but feel sorry for any guy who would end up marrying F’s daughter in the future. The same goes to any future mother-in-law who would end up taking F’s daughter as her daughter-in-law. Make that daughter-in-law from hell.

Anyway, if you happen to know a friend who is dating a bad news girl, you and your mutual buddies would not only worry about your friend’s future but also have a bad feeling that he is about to be eternally ‘trapped’ by the bad news girl.  To some people, they would tell us it is easier said than done where sometimes one cannot tell a guy that he is about to spend his life with the bad news girl. While few would have the guts to tell the truth to him even it would mean ending up in a quarrel and a few shouting matches with the guy who is too blind to see the truth. Therefore, one would be torn in between telling him to spare him from any future ‘torture’ and heartache he will get from the bad news girl or just keep mum and let him find out on his own (the hard way).

What says you about the issue of a friend or work colleague dating or getting engaged to a bad news girl? If you are in a situation where you friend/colleague is dating one, would you have the guts to tell him the truth (even it is the ugly truth) or would you just keep silent and let him find out by himself? Opinions are welcomed.