A few days ago, an incident from Chifley College in Australia took the world by storm when a pint-sized child earned himself a ‘minor’ thrashing from the bigger boy. In case you have no idea what I am writing about, I am highlighting the Casey Heynes incident which not just took the world’s attention but also went viral via online (the wonders of online videos). In case you have no idea, try watching this full interview from Australia which is now on Youtube. Or this news article from The New Zealand Herald and that too. As a result, people are not just calling Casey a hero but also the incident is the wake up call I believe everyone truly needs: addressing the issue of bullying.
Anyway, I am not here to take the opportunity to condemn Richard Gale, Casey’s bully, for provoking Casey into fighting back and giving him a taste of his own medicine he needs or whatsoever but I am here to talk about the one issue that many people have been turning a blind eye for too long. I believe that many people have or had been bullied at school. As a blogger, I am not going to lie but I too had been bullied many times. The bullying I endured from primary to high school was not physical but more to both social exclusion and emotional and verbal abuse. If you ask me if it affected me, yes, it did but in a way I am survivor who lives to tell the tale as well as a young adult who has no tolerance towards bullying (every now and then, it makes my blood boil to hear of a child being bullied).
It is a sad fact that bullying is becoming more prevalent to the point that many bully victims find going to school a nightmare. Do you want to know what is as severe as bullying? When some people (I have to admit some grown-ups can be terribly dumb) and schools turn a blind eye and do nothing to stop the bullying resulting in children being bullied repeatedly from months to even years. Here is the worse bit: bullied victims being blamed for the bullying to happen or punished for fighting back. Let me get this straight: it is NEVER the victims’ fault and it is UNFAIR that the bullies have to get away with it scot-free while the victims are left to suffer. Whoever says that bullying is a rite of passage or a part of growing up, well, he or she is wrong and that person has no idea how serious bullying is. Bullying hurts a victim not just physically but also emotionally and psychologically.
Do you know what is tragic about bullying? When some bully victims could no longer take the abuse anymore in class, school or cyberspace until they are driven to suicide. It is not fair that an innocent child is driven to commit suicide all no thanks to a bunch of bullies. Take a look at the Sladjana Vidovic tragedy which made headlines a year ago and what annoys me the most is reading how her heartless tormentors made a mockery out of her even when she was dead at her own funeral (Trust me, some bullies do have the cheek to mock their victims when they are already dead). To those who think it is fun to bully someone to the point of suicide or depression (shoot me but I have to say it), you are no better than a bunch of evil murderers who ruthlessly take an innocent life away from his or her loved ones and may God have mercy upon your souls. That is not all, you have to answer to God one day why you acted so evilly.
Anyway, the Casey Heynes incident has not only opened our eyes and realise how serious bullying is that we need to tackle it. That is not all, I want to point out that some parents are too blind to realise that their kids are the bullies and therefore, allowing those little monsters to continue picking on the weak or those who don’t fit in. However, this Sydney Morning Herald article about a father turning in his children to the police for being bullies not just made my day (and some people’s) but shown there are some parents out there who will not tolerate their children’s bullying antics. Good on the father for doing his part to nip them in the bud and showing he means business that he doesn’t tolerate bullying, but shame on those two brats who are no better than a neighbourhood thug.
If we want to tackle bullying and stop more children from getting hurt, I believe the victims are not the only ones who need help. Bullies too need help and some therapy to curb their bad behaviour before they grow up and become society’s menace in the neighbourhood, the workplace or even at home. Like it or not, today’s bullies will be tomorrow’s cruel, corrupted, manipulative and moralless monsters. That includes girls who bully too. We ,as adults, also need to teach children that bullying is never acceptable. To those who are bullied, you are not alone, stay strong, get help as soon as possible and don’t suffer in silence. Remember it is never your fault that bullying happens to you. To parents of the bullied, don’t give up in ending the bullying and go to the police or even the local Ministry of Education (or even local education board depending on where you come from) if the schools turn a blind eye or deaf ear. As for the bullies out there, shame on you all and you are no better than a bunch of criminals! And parents of the bullies, open your eyes, own up that your kids are little thugs behind your backs, stop going into denial for once and parent them properly before it is too late.
What says you about the issue of bullying in schools? Have or had you been bullied? What do you think must be done to curb bullying? Opinions are welcomed.
I tend to agree, Bullying is something that is indicative of where society in general stands. I think both parents of bullies and children who are being bullied should recognize it and communicate with their children. I recently wrote a post on the topic. Please take a look
http://www.prokarateshop.com/blog/prevention-of-childhood-bullying/
Thank you for your comment. I agree that all parents need to address this issue.
I commend you for taking up the subject of bullying. The one place I’ll disagree is that I don’t believe there’s been a recent upsurge. Fifty years ago, twenty years, three years ago there were kids who stopped attending school because they couldn’t handle the constant bullying and mocking. If anything there are more educators aware of the problem and reacting to the problem. I’m thankful I work in a progressive, caring school district where bullying is condemned.
Good on you, Lucky Teacher. It is great to know that you are so fortunate to work in a school that walks the talk when it comes to anti-bullying. Thank you for your comment.
I was bullied as a kid (pulling hair, pushing, making nasty remarks). No one did anything about it, even after I told numerous times. I’m pretty sure the dynamics around bullying in school or on cyberspace for that matter, has not changed. It’s quite sad because adults should protect the children.
I have always taught my children to never hit anyone. Never. No matter how angry you are. A year ago, a boy hit my oldest with a plastic toy gun so hard her upper lip split open. She didn’t do anything because I taught her not to hit. This may be bad parenting, but now I tell my children that they should never hit anyone unless they are defending themselves. If someone hits you, you fight back.
I am so sorry to read that you were bullied as a child and your daughter too. You have a point about fighting back when attacked. Secondly, if the next time your kids are bullied (to the point of being threatened by the bullies), you can go the police or the local education board if the school does nothing.
About the boy you mentioned, if I was the parent, I would drag him by the scruff of his neck (kicking and screaming), ask him to apologise to the person he picked on and then ground him severely for being a bully. What the kid did to your daughter is counted as assault and I cannot help but wonder how come the parents did not parent him properly. I may not be a parent but I believe that good parents are people who will not tolerate their children being bullies to others.
I know someone who’s currently being bullied. It is awful what the person has to go through. The school is not stepping in to help resolve the situation because the bully is a special needs child. I don’t think it’s right that the school doesn’t deal with the subject simply because the bully has special needs. Fortunately, the student who’s being bullied is dealing fairly well with the situation.
Laura, I couldn’t agree more with you that how some school don’t deal with bullying and choose to sweep it all under the rug. However, it is great to know a bullied child dealing with it fairly well so far. Then again, bullying is still a serious matter and no bully should be let off the hook regardless whether he or she is able-bodied or not.
Bullying is so heartbreaking. I was also bullied as a child, and those feelings still stick with me today. I try to live my life, being kind to everyone, because I never know what the other person may be going through, and I don’t want to be the cause of their bad day, week, or otherwise.
I do hope that the more bullying is in the news, the more we will talk to our children about how harmful it is.
I am so sorry to read what you went through, Fresh Spinach. You made a point that if the more bullying is spoken out in the news, the better for us to tell children how harmful it is. Thank you again.
I remember when the movie “Mean Girls” came out and many female adolesecents began to copy the ‘burn book’ the clique used to make fun of schoolmates and teachers with. To some extent, while physical bullying is quite severe, it can be stopped with intervention more effectively. However, I feel that the psyhocological damage that hurtful words, rumours, and use of technology (i.e. Facebook) does is much harder to contain and stop. In certain respects, it is much more severe because the signs are not physcially visible compared with the other form of bullying.
This issue reminds me of a story I heard on CBC radio about a mother sharing her experiences of her young teenage girl who was bullied. Sadly, her daughter ended up committing suicide. It was so tragic because the signs of something wrong were not easily detected by school staff and her family.
http://www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/episode/2011/03/30/teen-suicide/
Thank you for having your say, The Avid Baker. From what you told me and having read the link, it is tragic to read a young life like her just ended up dead all because of those horrid bullies. You made it clear that bullying is damaging to anyone who experiences it. Besides, schools needing to walk the walk when it comes to anti-bullying, I believe teachers need to be trained on how to identify all the red alarm signs of bullying and also be pro-active in tackling bullying instead of being bystanders. Secondly, kids need to be taught by parents and teachers alike that all forms of bullying is never okay. Lastly, I believe bullying should be made a crime in the eyes of the law especially if a victim’s life is endangered or on the verge of suicide.